February is National Weddings
Month. Not sure why – perhaps because
Valentine’s Day is “the” day for proposals!
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that in addition to
consulting and teaching I officiate non-denominational wedding ceremonies. And so here’s a story in honor of all things
wedding.
I was at a Starbucks when I bumped
into Meredith (names changed), a bride whose wedding I officiated four years
ago. Everything that could have gone wrong with her wedding did.
The florist mixed up the flowers
for her bouquet. The musicians were late. The shuttle van from the hotel broke
down and guests were stranded for half an hour. Shortly before the ceremony,
the zipper on her dress broke. The ceremony was delayed more than an hour.
Through it all she remained calm,
not once getting angry. I was in awe and now, finally, I could ask how she did
it. Meredith said, “It was the happiest
day of our life and Patrick (groom) and I decided we wouldn’t let anything ruin
our joy.”
The months leading up to the
wedding were stressful beginning with her dad pressuring them to get married in
the Catholic Church. Since she and Patrick aren’t regular churchgoers, she thought
it’d be hypocritical. Her mother
insisted that she didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband’s third wife
and didn’t want the woman sitting in the front row even though Meredith’s dad
was paying for the wedding,
At our last meeting before the
wedding, when I asked how they were doing, Patrick said: “Well, we’re learning to say ‘I’m sorry’ to each other a lot faster
than we used to.”
We laughed, BUT he did speak to an
important issue—communication. It’s
because they had a clear vision of their wedding, grounded in months of honest
conversation, that no mishap, however surprising or annoying, was able to ruin
the magic of their dream day.
Over the years I’ve seen the
startling difference between couples who communicate with trust and confidence
and those who are stuck in a rut of complaining and accusing. The former
celebrate their wedding day with sparkling eyes while the later struggle just
to survive the day.
To help all couples who might not have Meredith’s and Patrick’s vision
and skill, I wrote an e-book: “How To Keep The ‘I’ In “I Do: Communication TipsFor Staying Sane While Planning Your Wedding.” The heart of this book is my belief that the
quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the
communication in your life.
In honor of National Weddings
Month, you can download a free copy (from the 9th through the 13th)
of the book by simply Clicking Here
Even if you’re not in the midst of
planning a wedding, if you’re in a relationship, then I think you’ll find
plenty of tips, tricks and techniques in this book to help you improve the
quality of your communication.
Enjoy!
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