Magical Thinking

Chandler Massey (21) recently won a daytime Emmy for his role as Will on "Days Of Our Lives."  And no, I don’t know this because I watch the soap nor am I a fan of Massey’s.  But I do love to read celebrity “news” (hey, not everything can be about communication in the workplace!).

It seems that Massey was the odds-on favorite in his category, though he didn’t take the predictions seriously.  In fact, he didn’t even bother to write an acceptance speech.  He revealed to reporters that he hadn’t prepared a speech because he didn’t want to “jinx it.”  He later regretted not writing one because he forgot to thank various special people, including his grandparents.

I was amused reading this because how often have I refrained from doing or saying something because I didn’t want to “jinx” it––whatever “it” is!  So many of us engage in this primitive practice of superstition.

My father used to say, “Don’t get your hopes up so that way you won’t be disappointed.”  Well, he was right.  I followed his advice for years and never got disappointed.  I trained myself to focus on the negative and to downplay my talents, wishes, and hopes.  I had learned that hoping can only lead to disappointment.

I’ve met many people who are reluctant to prepare for the best, when that could somehow increase the chances of “the best” not happening.  If you think about it, isn’t it amazing just how much power we think we have over the universe?  Instead of, “build it and they will come” their mantra is more like, “don’t dream it and it will come about.” 

Had Massey written an acceptance speech, he still would have won since the mere act of writing would not have had the power to make all those winning votes magically disappear!

He engaged in magical thinking and we all do it in some form or another:

Let’s not talk about bad jury duty experiences because then we’ll receive a summons the next day (hmm. . .I hope I didn’t just jinx myself!).  Let’s not talk about it raining on my special occasion because then it will rain.  Let’s not prepare since that would entail too much power on our part; but let’s acknowledge we do have power to shape things by simply speaking of them!

What’s wrong with being disappointed?  Okay, that’s such an obnoxious question because we all know being disappointed sucks.  However, had Massey written his speech and lost, he would have been disappointed AND he would have had that thank you written so he could have sent it to those he loved.  After all, he wasn’t thanking them for winning, he was thanking them for loving him and he didn’t need to wait to stand on stage with a trophy to do that!

What kind of magical thinking are you doing?  Is it stopping you from doing something you would enjoy?  Do your superstitions free you up or trip you up?