Excited To Be Named A Constant Contact All-Star!

                                   

THE BUSINESS OF CONFIDENCE Receives 2015 Constant Contact All Star Award

Recognized for achievements using online marketing tools to drive success

THE BUSINESS OF CONFIDENCE has been named a 2015 All Star Award winner by Constant Contact^®, Inc., the trusted marketing advisor to hundreds of thousands of small organizations worldwide. The annual award recognizes the most successful 10% of Constant Contact’s customer base, based on their significant achievements leveraging online marketing tools to engage their customer base and drive results for their organization.

I’m excited to be recognized by Constant Contact for achieving strong marketing results and engaging with YOU my readers and clients.  I appreciate how Constant Contact’s tools have helped me help you stay informed on all the ways you can continue to hone your communication skills so as to become the communicator you’ve been determined to become!

If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter, please email me at:

jp@thebusinessofconfidence.com

Here’s to another great year of Confidence & Contact!

~JP

Conscious Generosity In The Face Of Randomness

March 20^th was the United Nations International Day Of Happiness.  March 22^nd began with a horrific bombing of Brussels’ airport and Metro.  The juxtaposition of these two events is dizzying – even numbing.

The world was a dangerous place on March 19^th and March 21^st.  The 22^nd reminded us just how randomly dangerous.  So what was the point of those celebrations on the 20^th since all that mindful glee couldn’t stop the brutishness of the bombers?

I think the question I ask is legitimate, but. . .

I learned about the International Day Of Happiness while checking my Twitter feed. I happened on a tweet announcing happiness celebrations in LA and my reaction was a jaded, “bah-humbug!”  Later, I checked my email and found a message from Sam (names changed), a student who had recently completed my business communication course at UCLA.  Sam joined the class because he was tired of being held hostage by a host of irrational fears.  He wanted in on the “business of confidence.”  Midway through the course Sam also began 1-on-1 coaching sessions with me.  In a short time he’s made significant breakthroughs.   

One of Sam’s irrational fears is that he’ll make a fool of himself in conversation and that he’ll be judged.  Class provided him numerous opportunities to engage with other participants, one of whom was Finn.  Finn, the youngest in the class, is a surfer dude completing his undergrad degree in leisurely fashion.  

Over time Sam and Finn had several lively conversations. I was curious if Sam thought he had made a fool of himself in any of those conversations, especially since Finn is much younger and hipper.  Turns out he enjoyed talking with Finn and hadn’t thought about what Finn might think of him.  I suggested we get some feedback from Finn – and he, too, had had a great time chatting with Sam.  Finn was grateful that someone older and professionally established would have taken him seriously.  Each was surprised that the other had been afraid of being judged!

In his email to me Sam shared that Finn reminds him of himself when he was in college and terribly unsure of himself.  So, he’s decided to do something for Finn because he wished someone had done something for him.  What is Sam doing for Finn?  To my shock, he’s gifting Finn with an “anonymous scholarship” of five private coaching sessions with me!

Even as I write this, I’m blown away.  Sam’s kindness and generosity are extraordinary.  I’ve never had someone offer to pay for a stranger’s time with me.  And so on International Day Of Happiness I went from feeling jaded to feeling whatever is beyond happy.

My father, who was a depressed man, often would remind me and my brother that, “we’re not meant for happiness in this world.”  He believed that with all his heart and I am loath to admit that too often I allow his words to echo in my own heart.  But, according to the United Nations, "Happiness is neither a frivolity nor a luxury. It is a deep-seated yearning shared by all members of the human family."  Sam’s been on an unexplored path to new happiness and he generously wants Finn to find his way along that path.

Happiness isn’t dependent upon the grand moments and gestures in life – happiness can be as simple as sharing an ice cream cone with a child.  I also know, though, that life would be less magical and mystical without those grand surprises.  Sam turned the first day of Spring into one of the most memorial days of my life.

In its heart, happiness is always rooted in generosity.  And no atrocity can negate that truth.

March 20^th, the International Day Of World Happiness, is a yearly opportunity to recommit to being a generous person.  Brussels, though, reminds us that in a world of danger we can’t make it just a yearly recommitment – we’ve got to do it whenever there’s an opportunity to be happily generous.

20 Things I Know For Sure About Talking To People

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

Philo of Alexandria

Over the last couple of months, in various ways and times, I’ve been reminded of the truth of Philo’s ancient observation.  In workshops and classes, seminars and coaching, I’ve encountered numerous people who are striving to become “more” of who they want to be.  And while the strivings are unique to each person, there is one core “battle” that seems more common than ever before.  It’s summed up in the question people most often ask me, “How do I have a conversation?” 

People come to me for so many reasons, but eventually, they share their stranglehold fear: “I’m worried about what people will think of me because I don’t know how to carry on a conversation.” 

If you’ve been reading my posts, you know that my great conviction is that life is ALL about meeting – about connecting.  And all connecting begins with a conversation.

A conversation is not a test.  It’s not a contest.  It’s simply a chance to connect – for a few moments, for a period time or even for a lifetime!

Recently I sat in a Starbucks and banged out (in no particular order) the following list of what I know for sure about people – and conversations.  There’s more, of course, but, hey, who wants to read more than 20 bullet points?!

20 THINGS I KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT TALKING TO PEOPLE

1.     People are consistent, though not always logical.

2.     Everyone has the capacity to surprise us because “consistency” is not immutable.

3.     Don’t expect people to fully understand what they’re saying – I mean, do you understand what you’re saying all the time?

4.     Most people want to present themselves in the best possible way, though their tactics may not always be the “best – desperation and unease kindle odd behavior.

5.     Humor goes a long way to breaking the ice – but there are also other ways to put people at ease – as often times a genuine smile will do the trick.

6.     Observe and ask questions based on your observations because people are continuously sending out clues.

7.     You never know what a conversation will lead to – a job, a friendship or maybe even a marriage proposal!

8.     Remain open to being challenged – to learn – to expand – from anyone – especially those outside your circle of comfort.

9.     Generational differences don’t matter when having a good conversation – good talk is good talk.

10.  I will not always understand the other person’s p.o.v. – but I can ask them to help me.

11.  I need to be present in a conversation – sometimes I’m better at it than other times – and that’s okay.

12.  I can’t leave a conversation up to the other person – I need to own my responsibility for my share.

13.  I want to give people something in our exchange – no matter how silly or profound – for why waste people’s time?

14.  I may not always like the other person, but the goal is always to seek the common good.

15.  I want to be in control – or at least in co-control – it’s all part of the dance.

16.  I must have some kind of animation – though know how to modulate it to the other’s needs.

17.  With some conversations the stakes are just not that high – and I don’t care about the outcome – and that’s okay, too.

18.  I am biased – some people I click with more readily than with others – I just need to be aware of those biases and not let them trip me up.

19.  I personally am guarded – residual, knee-jerk lack of trust – so I need to recognize this instinct and then move on (what’s yours?).

20.  Everybody has a story – and IS a story – and there is nothing more true or more profound about people than this point!

So, what do you know for sure about people?