Ella (names changed) works in IT for a non-profit that has a rigid company
culture. People are discouraged from
going outside for lunch and the doors don’t close on national holidays. While folks are paid for eight hours of work,
it’s understood they’ll put in more than eight per day. Management is friendly, for the most part,
but management expects team players to put the “team” ahead of “family.”
Ella is the token rebel of the
company. She’s the only one to leave for
lunch each day. She arrives at eight and
leaves promptly at five. It took four
years before any one else had the gumption to head home at five. Oh, and she will be taking Friday off in
honor of July 4th!
In the beginning, her boss talked with
her about her unorthodox behavior. Ella
reminded him that she was doing everything she was entitled to which, in turn,
made her a happy and productive worker.
Eventually, her boss backed off.
Recently I gave a workshop in which
I reminded the participants that the reason we communicate is to get our needs
met. If there’s an area of your life
where your needs aren’t getting met, then in some way it has to do with the
quality of the communication in that part of your life. There’s a break down either in what you’re
saying to yourself or to others.
One of the participants asked, “what if I don’t know what my needs are?” He seemed genuinely perplexed. However, my experience in coaching is that
most people do know what they need – acknowledging those needs can be
scary. As Makai, a former client, shared
with me, “I needed to hit rock bottom
before I knew what I wanted.” In an
effort to help you not reach your rocky bottom, consider this:
·
Where in
your life are you not happy?
·
What
would have to happen for you to be happy in that region of your life?
·
Are you
willing to do what’s needed?
·
If not,
what are you afraid of?
So many of us stop ourselves from
doing what it takes to get our needs met because we’re afraid of what “they”
will say. But the real question is –
what will you say to yourself ten years from now if your needs are still being
unrecognized and unmet?
If this sounds “simple” that’s
because it is. It may not be easy – but
it is simple!
Ella couldn’t eat her lunch the
first week she left the office because she was so nervous. Sometimes, though, it’s as simple as standing
up and walking through a door because it’s what you “need” to do. You’ll be amazed what’s on the other side!
