Monday, June 29, 2015

When Lunch Becomes An Act Of Courage!


 
Ella (names changed) works in IT for a non-profit that has a rigid company culture.  People are discouraged from going outside for lunch and the doors don’t close on national holidays.  While folks are paid for eight hours of work, it’s understood they’ll put in more than eight per day.  Management is friendly, for the most part, but management expects team players to put the “team” ahead of “family.” 

Ella is the token rebel of the company.  She’s the only one to leave for lunch each day.  She arrives at eight and leaves promptly at five.  It took four years before any one else had the gumption to head home at five.  Oh, and she will be taking Friday off in honor of July 4th!

In the beginning, her boss talked with her about her unorthodox behavior.  Ella reminded him that she was doing everything she was entitled to which, in turn, made her a happy and productive worker.  Eventually, her boss backed off.

Recently I gave a workshop in which I reminded the participants that the reason we communicate is to get our needs met.  If there’s an area of your life where your needs aren’t getting met, then in some way it has to do with the quality of the communication in that part of your life.  There’s a break down either in what you’re saying to yourself or to others.

One of the participants asked, “what if I don’t know what my needs are?”  He seemed genuinely perplexed.  However, my experience in coaching is that most people do know what they need – acknowledging those needs can be scary.  As Makai, a former client, shared with me, “I needed to hit rock bottom before I knew what I wanted.”  In an effort to help you not reach your rocky bottom, consider this:

·      Where in your life are you not happy? 
·      What would have to happen for you to be happy in that region of your life? 
·      Are you willing to do what’s needed?
·      If not, what are you afraid of? 

So many of us stop ourselves from doing what it takes to get our needs met because we’re afraid of what “they” will say.  But the real question is – what will you say to yourself ten years from now if your needs are still being unrecognized and unmet?

If this sounds “simple” that’s because it is.  It may not be easy – but it is simple!

Ella couldn’t eat her lunch the first week she left the office because she was so nervous.  Sometimes, though, it’s as simple as standing up and walking through a door because it’s what you “need” to do.  You’ll be amazed what’s on the other side!

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