A Brave Act Of One's Own

 
I collect and frame menus that hang on my dining room walls.  Last Christmas friends gave me a framed menu from a long-gone New York establishment.  I loved the menu but not the frame, so I decided to get it reframed.  Well, here it is September and I’ve yet to get the menu reframed.  I haven’t forgotten about it – it’s on a table near my bedroom closet.  Every day for nine months I’ve walked by it! 

Why haven’t I gotten it reframed?  Am I lazy?  Kind of.  Am I cheap?  Sort of.  I want to get it reframed but I don’t necessarily see the value of spending money when there’s other “stuff” I value more.  Besides, there’s no dire consequence if I don’t get it reframed.  Though I’ll admit, I’ve not had my friends over for dinner!

I marvel that I’ve walked past this frame that rests flat on a table I walk by on the way to my bathroom, without making a decision as to what to do with it.  I mean, it can’t stay on that table forever.  Or can it?  Most days, I don’t even see it.

I shouldn’t be surprised because the reality is that if we don’t see value in something or someone we most likely will ignore it – or them.  How often do you say, “we have to do lunch” and then never do.  Why?  You know as well as I that if we saw value in having lunch with a person, we would!  We keep at bay people and obligations for which we see little or no value.  BUT, what determines if I “see” value?

The answer to that question varies widely among us.  However, business guru Peter Bregman challenges his clients with the question, “what do you not want to see?”  Hmm.  Ignoring a menu is easy but what are the areas of my life I don’t want to rummage around in and “see” what’s there?

It can be scary to see aspects of life that we prefer to walk by because once you see something, you can’t un-see it.  And if you can’t un-see it then you have to change and change can be uncomfortable. 

I work with clients who stay in dysfunctional “romances” or emotionally abusive jobs, who stay in a mindset of doom and gloom because they have trained themselves to no longer see the price their fear-laden complacency exacts from them.

Why do we stay in a relationship or job that has so little value?  Fear.  Fear that the place of higher value will demand we become braver than we now are.

The bravest act is an act of one’s own.

What menu do you need to get reframed?!