How To Make The "Right" Impression

I was at a Starbucks jotting down ideas for this column when I overheard a weathered old man ask a pre-occupied woman, “do you know how to catch a polar bear?”  Before she could answer, he proceeded to tell her!  Life can be delightfully random at a Starbucks.  Life, though, is seldom random at a business meeting where people are wonderfully consistent. 

Last week I sat in on a product development meeting with my new client, Winnie.  She’s fun, articulate and insightful – though at this meeting she seemed to shrink before my eyes.   She was lead on the project, had done her prep and, yet, she was soft-spoken, allowed herself to be interrupted and contradicted, smiled in a humble manner and lacked the energy needed to propel her ideas around the table. 

Later, during our debrief to determine what had happened, she offhandedly mentioned that her father always told her, “The meek shall inherit the earth.”  I’m not brazen enough to contradict The Beatitudes, but I do know that “the meek” don’t get heard at a conference table in 2014!

We often think that “what” we say is more important than “how” we say it.  The truth is just the opposite.  In any given conversation a full 80% of what we pay attention to is the non-verbal – body language, facial expressions, tone of voice.  Only 20% of what we pay attention to is the actual content of what’s said.

What this means is that our body has to match our words and our words have to match our body.  When confused, people will “listen” to our bodies and not our words.

Enthusiasm and conviction have to be embodied so as to create an impression that assures people you know your stuff, you’re competent – in short, that you’re trustworthy.

We bemoan the b.s. artist who advances through the company’s ranks but often, the flim-flam artist gets ahead because he or she is good at creating the “right” image.

I’m not encouraging you to lie or to be someone you’re not.  I am, though, encouraging you not to shrink from who you can be.  If you believe you’re offering value then you need to fully express that value – with your words and your non-verbal.

On October 19^th I’ll be offering a workshop, along with my actor friend, Stacy Edwards, on “Acting Techniques For Business Professionals” over at the “Keep It Real” Acting Studio here in Toluca Lake.  The workshop will help you become: quick thinking on your feet, strategic in creating the impression you want others to have of you, creative in managing difficult behavior, confident when making a presentation.

If you’d like more info, please email me.  There are three spots left!