Illustration by Melinda Josie
This opinion piece,
written by Caeli Wolfson Widger, appeared last week in The New York Times. It struck a nerve with me for two reasons.
First, several of my
friends are now opting for texting over speaking – and I’m annoyed! Second, in my consulting I’ve noticed a new
and recurrent frustration shared by many professionals – colleagues are trying
to sort through messy issues via text rather than a phone or in-person
conversation.
Windger offers an honest and
surprising insight on this trend.
What about you – are you opting out
of talking?!
My cousin Stacey in San Francisco
called recently. We hadn’t spoken since she visited me the previous month, and
I missed her. I was sitting in my office, catching up on e-mail while
refreshing my Twitter feed every few minutes. Hardly too busy for a chat.
And yet, I watched the call come in
without touching my phone. I didn’t listen to the voice mail she left either
but fired off a text instead, apologizing for being too busy to talk and
proposing that we plan a call for the next day.
Why the lie? I had time to talk. I
had the privacy and quietude I rarely have at my home full of little children
and happy chaos. Some of my best conversations of all time have been with
Stacey. But my reflex was to avoid her call.
These days, I hardly ever pick up.
Most of my daily phone-based exchanges are conducted via text and messaging on
social-media platforms. With those, I’m rapid-fire on the turnaround. Every
ping signaling a text or swoosh alerting me to a Twitter direct message feels
like a tiny gift in waiting. The trill of an unexpected incoming call, on the
other hand, feels like a potential demand on my time and attention.
Stacey’s call probably would have
fallen into this category. She was going through a difficult time. Her
five-year relationship with her boyfriend was falling apart, and she was laid
off 18 months earlier. While she couldn’t bear to live another second with her
almost-ex, she also couldn’t afford to venture out into the exorbitant San
Francisco housing market on her own.
Stacey hadn’t responded to my text,
but I wasn’t worried. We would catch up. We always did.
A week later. . .CONTINUE READING
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