New Year's Resolutions One Month Later

Melissa is a colleague whom I admire.  Every time we meet at a function, though, we end by saying, “we must do lunch” and then never do.  Last week she called and we finally did lunch.  Melissa told me that she’s hell-bent on going through her list of fav people and getting together with each person by Valentine’s Day.  This was her only resolution for the New Year. 

Although I’ve posted my thoughts about New Year’s resolutions, in light of Melissa’s enthusiasm, I thought I’d check-in with you and ask––“how’s it going?!”

I recently found out that February is National Self-Esteem Month.  I’m really not a fan of all these “national this-and-that” month or day, BUT it does seem appropriate that self-esteem month comes a month after we’ve all made some wonderful and often unfulfilled resolutions.

There’s a host of reasons for why we don’t keep resolutions, just ask Drs. Drew, Oz and Phil!  However, I think one reason is that we’re afraid of what would happen if we did keep a resolution.

In an odd way, many of us are afraid not just of failing, we’re also afraid of succeeding.  “What would life look like if I accomplished something good for myself?”  That’s a scary question because if you answer it honestly you’d have to take ownership of your life, of not playing victim, or seeking out pity.  And for many people, there’s also a lingering sense that they don’t feel worthy, deserving of success and well-being.

David, a friend of mine with great magical abilities, told me that his goal this year is to, “be less afraid of being confident.”  I love that because with confidence comes greater self-esteem and success.

A new coaching client told me that honing his communication skills is one of his top three priorities for the year.  From a business standpoint, I was grateful, but from a personal standpoint I was challenged as he got me thinking about my priorities for this year.

I must admit they seemed clearer a month ago than they do today!  And maybe that’s because I never wrote them down.  Studies show that you have a greater chance of reaching a goal if you actually write it down.  I’ve done that and I encourage you to join me.  It’s really simple––all you have to do is complete these three sentences:

The most important thing I have to do this year is. . .

The second most important things is. . .

The third most important thing is. . .

If you’re stumped and don’t have anything important to commit to, then I would ask, what are you really afraid of?  Failure or success?