Le Grand Courtage, Pt. 3

In the last two posts, I’ve reflected on Le Grand Courtage winery’s motto for courting life: embrace life, dream big, accept all invitations.  In this post, I’d like to offer some thoughts on accept all invitations.

When I first read the motto I was charmed, but quickly thought, accept ALL invitations?  Not practical.  We’re just all too busy to accept most invitations, let alone ALL.  And then I heard the ghost of my mother chime in with, “if you don’t know the person, it’s dangerous to accept their invitation.” 

Of course, you have to understand that my mother didn’t allow my brother and me to go trick-n-treating in our Bronx apartment building, where everyone knew every one, as she was afraid that the candy might be tainted!

As a young adult I had to learn how to accept people’s invitations, to move beyond my mother’s suspicions.  To this day, trust is an issue for me and I’m usually cautious with someone who is generous.  My instinct is to ask, “why?”

And so in reflecting on Courtage’s motto, I wondered, “What do we have to do for someone to invite us––to whatever?”   I quickly realized it’s a non-question because the exquisite aspect of an invitation is that it’s a gift, a surprise, unasked for (sure, we can twist someone’s arm into inviting us to a party or whatever, but then that’s not a real invitation).

What do we gain from an invitation?  An odd question, perhaps, but I ask it because my own mother believed that nothing good could come from an invitation.  She thought the inviter probably wanted something, that they had an ulterior motive and it wasn’t a good one in that we would somehow be asked to give more than we received. 

Sure, sometimes a person invites us into their life because they think we have something they can use or need.  Beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing cliché!

So, maybe we shouldn’t accept “all” invitations, but. . .

I think there are two reasons why someone might extend us an invitation––the first is that they like us, and the second is that they’re doing something they like so much they want to share it and think we’re worthy of sharing it with.  Invitation is rooted in benefit and gain. 

If you think about it, isn’t that why you invite people?

So, what can we hope for from an invitation?  I think an invitation can be the promise of something unexpectedly good; something that surprises us with its unique perspective on life.  Invitations hold the promise of connection.  Through our meeting someone(s) we could not have expected to meet, our life is enhanced somehow. 

The best invitations are like the feel of a breath of fresh air blowing by our face.  We feel refreshed.

How do we court life?  Simple, really. . .by not becoming so jaded that we look askance at every invite.

To embrace life is to accept surprise and dreaming big is possible only when you embrace life.  And so I don’t think it’s too cutesy to say that life is invitation.

When I think of the life-changing experiences that have dotted my life, I realize that each one came about because I accepted an invitation, whether it was to teach on an island in the South Pacific or to babysit an infant who would eventually become my godson.

Albert Schweitzer, a humanitarian of the mid last century, maintained that, in everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Maybe this is how we court life when we accept invitations because it’s just possible that the invitation may be the one that propels us along to becoming more fully who we are meant to become.