The Gift Of "Thank You"

This past weekend, I received a “thank-you” email from a former client. It’s been more than a year since Brenna completed her work with me and it was such a lovely surprise to hear from her.  This is a snippet of what she wrote:

Every time I have the urge to say, "it’s ok" when someone apologizes I remember your coaching. It feels so empowering to acknowledge the apologies without telling a co-worker or friend that what they have done is "ok."

In my workshops and coaching, I often remind people that the two most powerful words we can say are: “thank you.”  Brenna reminded me of this and I felt gratified knowing that I had helped her improve the quality of her life. 

Brenna also reminded me of something that numerous of my clients (stereotypically, women) work on––excessive apologizing and/or dismissing another person’s apology.  I’ve even had clients who’d say “I’m sorry” when someone bumped into them!  

In Brenna’s case, though, she had the habit of dismissing a person’s apology when they did have reason to apologize.  She felt embarrassed and didn’t want them to feel bad.  Recognizing an apology, though, is a show of respect––for both the other person and your self, as well as for your relationship.

And lastly, Brenna’s email reminded me that the only sure way to improve your communication is through practice––practice that extends well beyond any of the work that we do together.  Brenna today feels empowered because she has worked mindfully at accepting the gift of an apology and not dismissing the other person’s feelings or her own.  This hasn’t come easy to her, but she’s now enjoying the results of much practice.

So, are you mindfully practicing some small change in the way you communicate? 

If not, and you want to start, why not reach out and thank someone for help they gave you a while ago––help that is still helping you?!