Taking The "Strange" Out Of "Stranger"

Here is an article from the HarvardBusiness Review Blog that is heartening in a “pay-it-forward” kind of way AND is spot-on in its insights into the simple skills that go into professional networking and relationship building.

Blanche Du Bois (of A Streetcar Names Desire fame) is again proved right by believing in the “kindness of strangers”!

Make a Stranger Believe in You

by Anne Kreamer |  HBR February 19, 2013

I recently received an e-mail sent to my business address that began with the salutation "Dear Ms. Anne," — the kind of greeting that suggested that the rest of the note would offer me riches from some recently deceased Estonian cousin I didn't know I had. It continued, "I know you have no idea who I am, however, I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible" — words destined to cause a further sinking feeling about what was to come. But in the seconds I skimmed the note, a few words jumped out at me and I was intrigued. In three short paragraphs, Zanele Mutepfa, a junior at Portland State University in Oregon, told me that she was an immigrant Zimbabwean-born orphan and youth advocate who aspired to be a television talk show host. With a bravado that might have been off-putting, she said, "I assure you, my dynamic life story will one day hit headlines...but most importantly change lives, it just needs to be shared with the perfect person." She was coming to New York City — might I have time to meet with her?

I had moved from the hinterlands to New York myself, 35 years ago, with virtually no professional contacts, so when she closed her note by saying, "Some may think one of the strangest things to do is believe in a stranger, but if not one stranger believed in us, once upon a time, where would we all be today?... someone did it for you."

continue reading. . .

How To Build Self-Confidence

 Here’s an excerpt from an email I recently got from Anna, a reader:

I believe I’m worthy of certain things, but often let my "performance anxiety" get in the way. One recent example involves a traffic ticket that I received. When I got the ticket months ago, I decided to fight it since I believe I was in the right. The ticket was expensive and would count points against my record. As the court date loomed closer, I got nervous. Would I be able to properly fight the ticket? What would I do if a judge just dismissed me without listening to what I had to say? Would it be too stressful to concentrate on this before I had an interview the next day? As I got more nervous, the more I procrastinated on a) doing research on how to combat the ticket and b) finding someone to cover me for the half-day I’d spend in court. I went to the courthouse the day before, begging someone to let me extend the court date. It was denied. The case is closed and I’ll have to re-open it, even just to ask for traffic school.  Do you have strategies that help build self-confidence?

This is a great question for several reasons, chief among them that it illustrates a key concept:  What we think influences how we feel and how we feel influences how we communicate.

Anna, the tape you played in your head created a soap opera of traffic court disasters. You literally hypnotized yourself into believing there was no way you could win, so why bother?  Hence, you procrastinated.

How do you snap yourself out of this self-hypnosis?

First, be aware of the negative tape playing in your mind. Second, argue with that negative tape. Nothing you said to yourself was based in "fact." You only told yourself "what if?"  You have to "reprogram" your thinking.

For instance, when your tape told you the judge most likely will dismiss you without listening to you because he's busy (we'll make the judge a "he") and you're young and he knows young people lie to get out of taking responsibility for wrong-doing, you have to "talk back" and say, "yes, that's a possibility and it's also possible that the judge is fair and might have a child who has taught him to pay attention to what young people have to say. If he dismisses me, I'll be disappointed but at least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I gave it my best shot."

You now have to vigorously and consciously practice dismissing negative thoughts that are just “what-ifs” and not facts.  There are just as many “what-ifs” that go in your favor!

Memories Of Halloween Past

 

When I was growing-up in the Bronx, my mother wouldn’t allow my brother and me to go trick-or-treating.  She claimed it was begging and if we wanted candy, we should ask her.  And, no, we didn’t open the door to trick-or-treaters as they were considered beggars!  Over the years, I’ve always had ambivalent feelings about all the Halloween hoopla.  My favorite Halloween memories, though, are of the times I spent with my godson, Finn.  Yes, this is another Finn-inspired posting!

When he was three years old I took him to a party goods store the eve of Halloween.  It had a great candy aisle, but to get to the aisle we had to pass by a mechanical scarecrow that made weird, jerky movements.  Finn called it a “scary” and was petrified.  So I hefted him into my arms, had him close his eyes and then I stood in front of the “scary” telling him that if he ever tried to hurt Finn I’d beat him up.  Reassured, Finn jumped from my arms and ran down the aisle.  It did wonders for my ego!

A few years later, it was the week before Halloween and I picked him up from school.  As we were walking to my car, he let go of my hand and ran up to a kid who was half-a-block away.  Finn grabbed him from behind in a bear hug.  The two started laughing.  I was baffled.  When I asked why he’d “attack” the poor kid, Finn matter-of-factly told me that he tries to hug a different person each day.

We then headed off to a pumpkin patch where he found a medium-sized pumpkin that was too big for him to lift – or so I thought.  He insisted on carrying it to the cashier at the front of the lot.  It was quite a haul for him with a lot of grunting and a lot of dropping of the pumpkin, but he got it to the clerk.

Straw fears, generous hugs, challenging feats of determination – this is what I now think of when Halloween rolls around.  Okay, and also how weird it was not to go trick-or-treating as a kid!

Finn’s twelve now and so store displays don’t scare him, hugs are at a premium and he’d rather play an App game than lug a pumpkin.  That’s how it should be – we grow, we progress through the stages of life.

Still, though, I cherish those memories as I struggle with my resolutions to not let paper-thin fears paralyze me, to be generous with my affection and to challenge myself to do what seems not doable.  Why?  Well, really isn’t that the surest way to find and seize life’s treats?

A Constipation Story - Really!

Last week, a client shared that he’s afraid of what people will think if he says something stupid.  I told him the following story, but be warned, as it is an oddball tale!

My mother, who didn’t graduate high school, “covered” her insecurities with designer clothes and spoke with an air of authority, even when she didn’t know what she was talking about.

We lived in a Bronx apartment and when I was seven my parents bought a summerhouse in a town along the Jersey shore.  It was a new development and it was a simple house –– linoleum tiles atop a concrete slab floor, shingled exterior walls with jalousie windows.  White with a pink trim it was my mother’s longed-for dollhouse.

A problem soon appeared –– we had a mysterious leak.  We had no idea why, every morning, moisture was on the tiles. A plumber came and announced that the moisture was “condensation.” 

This was a new word for my mother and she was annoyed as all she wanted was to put down wall-to-wall carpeting (yes, in a beach house).  This condensation “thing” had to be fixed.

Soon after, the O’Connell’s bought the house next door.  My mother usually kept to herself, but decided to introduce herself –– that’s what neighbors are supposed to do, yes?

Mary and Jim O’Connell were a middle-aged couple from Massachusetts.  When my mother learned that they bought the house as income property she did something she never did––she asked for help. 

She told Jim that this was her first house and since he knew houses maybe he could help explain something.  She said: “We thought we had a leak, but the plumber said we had constipation.  It’s awful. We live in an apartment and don’t have this kind of problem, but since you live in a house, perhaps you’ve had constipation?”

Open-mouthed, Jim stared at my mother.  My father was rolling on the ground, but my mother didn’t notice and continued, “We wake up in the morning and constipation is everywhere.  We don’t know what to do.  What do you suggest?”

Suddenly, Jim figured it out and asked if she meant “condensation.”  She claimed that’s what she said but we all assured her that she hadn’t.  For a brief moment, she looked embarrassed and then started laughing.  Undeterred, she asked Jim if he could help with that “new word.”

Yes, my mother was vain and concerned what people thought of her.  But, yes, she could admit a mistake and laugh at herself.  It was a great gift and a lesson I shared with my client who is worried about what people will think of him.

What about you?  Can you laugh at your ‘constipation’?!

Magic Mountain, Public Speaking and Other Scary Things

I’m afraid of heights and especially hate roller coasters.  So, of course, what did my godson Finn want for his birthday?  He wanted me to take him to Magic Mountain!  Last week I made good on my promise.

I told Finn he could pick the rides we went on.  When I got strapped into a ride I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.  I was determined to keep my fear in check, but when the ride rocketed, I just screamed my head off.  

After each ride I felt like vomiting, yet I also felt satisfied.  I hadn’t let fear win out.   More than rollercoasters, I hate being afraid.  I don’t want to be controlled by fear.  

This summer I taught a course at UCLA Extension on “breaking through” the fear of public speaking.  Of all the communication skills I teach, public speaking is my favorite. I think it’s because I was painfully shy in high school. 

I headed off to college determined to vanquish my shyness.  Intuitively, I knew my shyness went deeper than not wanting to speak.  It was about my fear of people.  I didn’t think people would like me, that they’d find me boring and judge me.  

I joined the college’s radio station and landed my own interview show.  Quickly, I learned how to talk to people.  It was simple – all I had to do was show them that I was interested in what they had to say!  And in turn, they showed an interest in me.  My skill and my confidence soared.

While I’ve not discovered a “secret” formula for overcoming fear, what I have learned is that fear is fueled by clinging to a lie - a lie that seems so true that to deny it seems to be a lie in itself.

I see this in many of the people I coach.  Kathryn, who is from Hungary, was one of the students in this summer’s Extension class.  She sat cross-armed, scowling through the first half of the course.  Eventually, her arms opened and she smiled.  

For her first presentation, she told an odd story that had the class laughing.  Yes, she was obviously nervous, but that energy didn’t derail her tale. The class gave her honest, encouraging feedback.  Her accent didn’t distract them; her nerves didn’t distract them.  She surprised them and they wanted more from her.  

When I asked if she believed the feedback, she said she didn’t because she knew the presentation wasn’t very good and that she’s not a good speaker.  She smiled saying this!

She clutched this lie because she was too comfortable believing it.

How can a person stop believing a crippling lie?  Here’s some of what I wrote in an email to Kathryn.

“We only grow by building on our strengths.  In order to build on those strengths, we have to know what they are AND we have to know why we have those strengths.  If we don’t understand what we’re good at, then we can’t grow. 

Oftentimes people resist taking a hard look at their strengths because it’s more comfortable believing that we suck at something.  Being helpless can be consoling in an odd sort of way.  I think, Kathryn, that you’re so used to beating up on yourself that it just seems ‘natural.’  I think you have a hard time accepting compliments because you don’t see much point in dwelling on what you do well. 

Well, no one ever becomes great at something by focusing solely and intently on mistakes.  It doesn’t work that way.

You gave a presentation, without being glued to notes, in a way that connected with an international audience.  You made people laugh.  That’s a significant accomplishment.  If you choose to downplay the importance of what you did, then you’re sabotaging yourself.

You need to understand what you do well, what you don’t, and why.  I think you only want to understand what doesn’t work and you want to ignore what does work.

You have to believe you’re worthy of people’s attention.  If you don’t believe you have anything worthwhile to say then that will come across and people will tune you out.

It’s really up to you: are you going to own your strengths and work on your weaknesses OR are you going to continue to dismiss any progress you’ve made and focus solely on your belief that you will always be a lousy speaker? 

Only you, Kathryn, can choose your attitude!”

Kathryn is not an isolated case of someone refusing to acknowledge progress towards a goal.  Odd as it sounds, it takes courage to recognize growth.  True confidence means owning one’s strengths and acknowledging one’s weaknesses – and using both to reach a goal.

What about you – what comfortable lie are you clinging to?!

Why I Silence Your Call, Even When I'm Free

Illustration by Melinda Josie

 This opinion piece, written by Caeli Wolfson Widger, appeared last week in The New York Times.  It struck a nerve with me for two reasons.

First, several of my friends are now opting for texting over speaking – and I’m annoyed!  Second, in my consulting I’ve noticed a new and recurrent frustration shared by many professionals – colleagues are trying to sort through messy issues via text rather than a phone or in-person conversation.

Windger offers an honest and surprising insight on this trend. 

What about you – are you opting out of talking?!

Why I Silence Your Call, Even When I’m Free

By CAELI WOLFSON WIDGER

NYT / October 4, 2013

My cousin Stacey in San Francisco called recently. We hadn’t spoken since she visited me the previous month, and I missed her. I was sitting in my office, catching up on e-mail while refreshing my Twitter feed every few minutes. Hardly too busy for a chat.

And yet, I watched the call come in without touching my phone. I didn’t listen to the voice mail she left either but fired off a text instead, apologizing for being too busy to talk and proposing that we plan a call for the next day.

Why the lie? I had time to talk. I had the privacy and quietude I rarely have at my home full of little children and happy chaos. Some of my best conversations of all time have been with Stacey. But my reflex was to avoid her call.

These days, I hardly ever pick up. Most of my daily phone-based exchanges are conducted via text and messaging on social-media platforms. With those, I’m rapid-fire on the turnaround. Every ping signaling a text or swoosh alerting me to a Twitter direct message feels like a tiny gift in waiting. The trill of an unexpected incoming call, on the other hand, feels like a potential demand on my time and attention.

Stacey’s call probably would have fallen into this category. She was going through a difficult time. Her five-year relationship with her boyfriend was falling apart, and she was laid off 18 months earlier. While she couldn’t bear to live another second with her almost-ex, she also couldn’t afford to venture out into the exorbitant San Francisco housing market on her own.

Stacey hadn’t responded to my text, but I wasn’t worried. We would catch up. We always did.

A week later. . .CONTINUE READING

Not All Street Signs Are Blurry!

 

I met with my client Jesse (names changed) last week and was surprised he was wearing glasses. When I complimented him on the new look he told me that he’d never worn glasses before; however, he’s thrilled with the difference they make––he can’t believe how clear street signs are!

For years Jesse thought all signs were blurry because they were far away AND he presumed they were blurry for everyone!  He lived in a fuzzy world and didn’t know it.  He just thought, “That’s the way things are.”

Jesse is a smart guy who excels in his job.  He’s not a dope.  He just didn’t know that there’s a better way to see.  And in that, he’s like so many of us!  Take my other client, Richard.

In our first meeting he told me that he hates when people interrupt him.  He thinks they’re rude and disrespectful.  He said that many people interrupt him and he wonders if he’s doing something to encourage them in that behavior. 

The following week I sat in on a meeting with Richard and four other executives, as they wanted to explore training possibilities for various teams in the company.  During the meeting, one of the executives interrupted Richard and he immediately shut down.  Everything about him changed––his face, his posture, his overall “vibe.”  He actually glared at the guy.

Richard later told me that when growing up, his parents insisted that he and his siblings not interrupt when adults spoke – and they didn’t allow for freewheeling discussion.  The family motto was: don’t interrupt people—it’s rude.

But is a person automatically rude if she or he interrupts?  I don’t think so.  What about the person who comes from a large family where everyone had to compete to be heard and interrupting was accepted?

Here’s the thing - every family lives life guided by a motto. Sometimes it is spoken aloud; other times it is implicitly understood. But no matter, this mantra guides a family as it navigates through life.

Family mottos take on their own life.  They influence how we see and interpret people and situations.  They become the air we breathe.  When I was growing up, my family’s mantra was: trust no one.  My father was a cop.  His job demanded that he be leery of all.  I breathed in that mantra without thought or doubt. Later in life I had to work hard to overcome its limitations and to trust people.

Without understanding your family’s assumptions about how life is lived, you will be setting yourself up in subtle ways for stress and misunderstanding.

Give yourself an “eye exam” and identify your family’s motto.  Does it help or hinder you?

Paranoia In The Office

Oh how we complicate our lives!  Stephanie (names changed) is head of Human Resources for a hospitality company and Gina is the Associate Head.  Gina is upset that Stephanie doesn’t promptly answer her emails.  She sometimes has not gotten information that she needs and feels out of the loop.  She doesn’t like not knowing an answer and is afraid people will think she’s incompetent. Gina believes Stephanie is out to sabotage her. 

Stephanie claims that Gina is driving her nuts with too many emails. She thinks Gina needs to handle situations on her own as she knows how to do her job.  Although Stephanie has told this to her, Gina doesn’t believe her. 

Gina  also thinks Stephanie likes Juan (new office hire) more than her and is conspiring to make her mess up at work so she has a reason to fire her and then promote Juan!

So what could be some of the reasons why Stephanie doesn’t return emails?  Here’s a quick list:

·      She doesn’t like Gina

·      She is incompetent

·      She is too busy chatting with Juan

·      She doesn’t see a need to respond

·      She trusts Gina to do the right thing

While I don’t have security footage that will show me if Stephanie is fawning over Juan, my instinct tells me that Stephanie is not some psychopath plotting Gina’s demise.  In fact, she promoted her six months ago!

What do these colleagues need to do?  Each needs to do something difficult.

Stephanie admits she’s not good with answering email.  She’s not proud of this and recognizes she needs to do a better job.  She now needs to move on from recognizing this is an ineffective habit and consciously develop a game plan for being more prompt in her responses.  If Gina’s upset, chances are others in the company share Gina’s frustrations.

Gina needs to understand that it is unfair and unrealistic to hold people to her standard of email protocol.  She is prompt in responding.  Actually, I’ve seldom met anyone who responds as quickly to an email as she does!  That’s good, but. . .she needs to probe what appears to be her paranoia regarding Stephanie and Juan’s relationship.  Aside from making an accusation, what are the facts to back up the belief that her career is being sabotaged?

Each woman needs to reflect on how her behavior could appear to the other and ask how her behavior is tripping up the other person.  The Golden Rule of doing unto others as we’d have them do unto us is not nearly as effective as the “Platinum Rule” of doing unto others as they would have us do unto them!

That’s real strategy – and will lead to real and successful communication!

National Positive Thinking Day!

September 13th is National Positive Thinking Day and so this column is my nod to this little-known holiday!

My father was a great storyteller who had an appreciation for the absurd.  With Scotch in hand, he was a jolly good-fella whom people enjoyed.  Although he had a great sense of humor, my father was not an optimist.  While he could laugh so hard that he’d cry, the proverbial glass was ALWAYS half empty. 

We were a Catholic family and like any Catholic of his generation, he could quote the Catechism.  The first question in that book is: “why did God make us?”  The classic answer is, “God made us to know, love and serve Him in this world and be happy with Him in the next.”  My father would quote this and point out, “It doesn’t say anything about being happy in this world.  We’re not meant for happiness.” 

This belief, which is a perversion of Catholic thought, allowed him to explain every disappointment, misstep and misfortune that happened in life. He was a fatalist and as such had low expectations for life.  Dreams didn’t amount to much because they most likely would be decimated.  Hopes were pleasant but did little more than aspirin. 

I had to work hard to understand how his belief system was grounded in a lie - a lie that allowed him to not aspire for anything of value. 

I don’t think my father was unique in his fatalism.  In fact, I think it’s far more common than we care to admit in this feel-good society of ours. 

Mildred (85) is the oldest resident in my condo building.  She told me that she and her husband raised their family in this building although she had never wanted to live here.  She wanted to own a house but her husband wouldn’t hear of it.  She lamented, “I’ve been miserable in this place for thirty years.  Can you believe that?”  And I did detect a twinge of pride in her voice.

I laughed, saying, “Of course I can!”

It’s easy to surrender power and believe that ultimately life is controlled by forces outside our control.

Viktor Frankl, one of last century’s greatest writers and a survivor of Auschwitz, fervently believed that, “We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of his freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

Be happy.  Be powerful.  Think positive!

Did You Go To Work On Your Wedding Day?

photo:brittrenephoto.com

Here are three vignettes that for various reasons took me by surprise:

#1.  My friend, Becky, is a regional sales director for a discount chain.  She works hard, long hours.  When not working, she enjoys spending time with Stacy, her seven-year-old goddaughter.

While Becky loves having “girl days” with Stacy, of course, she always brings her Blackberry, which is like the third “girl” on their outings. Becky apologizes to Stacy whenever she takes a call or responds to a text.  “It’s work” is her catch phrase.

On their last outing, Stacy commented that Becky sure works a lot.  Becky laughed, assuring her that she did.  And then Stacy asked, “Did you have to go to work on your wedding day?”

Becky laughed at the “cute” question, but ever since Stacy asked the question, she’s been wondering about her priorities.  Becky asked me, “Does Stacy see something that I don’t?”  Just as I was about to answer, her phone rang and she had to take the call!

#2.  At one of my workshops last month, Casey chatted with me during a break and told me that she wished she could do what I do, i.e. work directly with people in a coaching capacity.  She said that many of her friends consider her to be their personal life coach.  I asked her if she thought about making a career change (she works for a national insurance firm).  She said that she’s thought about it, but isn’t sure how to go about it.  She’s hoping that sooner rather than later the right path will appear.

I pointed out that the “right path” only appears if we’ve done the necessary prep work to make sure we can recognize that right path when it appears.  In an oddly wistful tone she said, “I know.”

When I commented that she seemed sad, she sighed, “It’s just so hard figuring out how to do what I want to do!”

#3.  In one of my workshop exercises, I ask participants to complete this sentence: “I matter most when I. . .” One woman shared with the group, “I matter most when I get a large bonus.”  We all laughed but she looked surprised.  “No.  I’m serious; my self worth is directly tied to my bonus.”  I was stunned.  Why would anyone give so much power to someone making what ultimately is an arbitrary decision?

The question we each must grapple with is, “Am I happy with the quality of the life I’ve created?”  If not, do you deep down want to actively work to improve the quality of your life?  If so, start now – not tomorrow!

WATCH This video!

What No Perfectionist Wants To Talk About

photo: faile.net

My godson, Leo, leaves this week to start his undergrad at a prestigious Chicago university.  Since it’s an expensive school, he and his parents were thrilled when he was invited to interview for a four-year scholarship that is awarded to only ten freshmen.

Leo is bright, articulate and charming.  I knew that if he could contain his nerves and be his proverbial “self,” he’d have done all he could do.

I called Leo’s dad the day after the interview and he told me that Leo was so disheartened that he refused to talk about it.  When gently prodded by his mother, he lashed out, saying it had been a disaster.  I was baffled; even if he had done his worst, it couldn’t have gone as badly as he thought.

Leo’s dad called the dean of freshmen and asked if there was any feedback he could give him or Leo on the interview.  The dean wasn’t able to reveal much except to say that two-hundred students had been invited to interview for the scholarship and that Leo had made it to the final thirty.  He didn’t receive the scholarship, but not because he “bombed” in the interview.

The reality is that it’s so hard to have an accurate sense of our “performance” in an interview, a presentation or even a simple conversation.  It’s even harder when we hold ourselves to a standard of perfection––which is what Leo holds himself to.

He didn’t get the scholarship.  That’s a fact.  He didn’t “bomb.”  That’s a fact; but because he didn’t get the scholarship, Leo equates that with making a horrible impression.  His belief is a fact, but it’s also a fact that it’s an unfair and debilitating belief.  He refuses to acknowledge what he’s accomplished because he has an all-or-nothing attitude.

Life isn’t black-or-white.  It’s seldom lived at the extremes.  You don’t need me to tell you that life is messy.  Success can only be found within that messiness.  And for a perfectionist, that’s hard to take seriously.

Dr. David M. Burns advises, “Aim for success, not perfection.  Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.  Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.  Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”

Leo is going to the university as his parents found a way to make it happen––even though they’re still paying off their own college loans!  I hope Leo learns how to be successfully imperfect during his time in college.  It may just be the best lesson he could learn.

Sometimes Life Really Is Simple

I recently helped out my friend, Sue, with a summer boot camp she ran for the incoming seniors of the high school where she’s the college guidance counselor.  The three-day workshop focused on college application essay writing.

Sue and I have known each other for more years than I care to admit to in public, but we’ve seldom had opportunities to work together.  And so this was a fun treat.  It also gave me the chance to observe her in her “element” and to see her in action.

Here it is the summer and she’s heading up a program for forty teens that are drenched in Valley sweat and an early onslaught of nerves over the college application process.  And through it all Sue is calm, focused, humorous and gracious.

This was the second year for the camp and as she did last year, Sue provided lunch for her team.  And as with last year, everyone appreciated her taking care of them.  Perhaps I’m too jaded but I fully expected to be fed.  Hey, the pay is modest and a worker is worth his or her keep!

What I realized, though, is that the staff is not accustomed to being treated with this kind of appreciation.  They’re just used to brown bagging it, no matter the school function.  For Sue, though, it was a question of hospitality, of caring for those who ultimately are helping her with her job.

I’m reminded of a fable told by the great Indian teacher Anthony DeMello, s.j: “One day, a scorpion stood on the side of a stream and asked a frog to carry it to the other side. 'How do I know you won't sting me?' the frog asked. 'Because if I sting you, I'll drown,' the scorpion said.

The frog thought about it and realized that the scorpion was right. So he put the scorpion on his back and started ferrying him. But midway across the stream, the scorpion plunged its stinger into the frog's back. As they both began to drown, the frog gasped, 'Why?'

The scorpion replied, 'Because it is my nature.'”

And so it is with Sue.  She can’t do anything other than what she does.  As she said to me, “how could I have them help these kids and not feed them?  There’d be no camp without them!”  Sue literally could not not feed us.

Yes, I am biased because Sue is my friend (how lovely to write that) BUT, she’s also a professional who is on top of things and trusts that the people she’s gathered will do what they’re supposed to do and she reminds them – “you’re doing a great job.”

Sometimes, life can be that simple.