Conscious Generosity In The Face Of Randomness

March 20^th was the United Nations International Day Of Happiness.  March 22^nd began with a horrific bombing of Brussels’ airport and Metro.  The juxtaposition of these two events is dizzying – even numbing.

The world was a dangerous place on March 19^th and March 21^st.  The 22^nd reminded us just how randomly dangerous.  So what was the point of those celebrations on the 20^th since all that mindful glee couldn’t stop the brutishness of the bombers?

I think the question I ask is legitimate, but. . .

I learned about the International Day Of Happiness while checking my Twitter feed. I happened on a tweet announcing happiness celebrations in LA and my reaction was a jaded, “bah-humbug!”  Later, I checked my email and found a message from Sam (names changed), a student who had recently completed my business communication course at UCLA.  Sam joined the class because he was tired of being held hostage by a host of irrational fears.  He wanted in on the “business of confidence.”  Midway through the course Sam also began 1-on-1 coaching sessions with me.  In a short time he’s made significant breakthroughs.   

One of Sam’s irrational fears is that he’ll make a fool of himself in conversation and that he’ll be judged.  Class provided him numerous opportunities to engage with other participants, one of whom was Finn.  Finn, the youngest in the class, is a surfer dude completing his undergrad degree in leisurely fashion.  

Over time Sam and Finn had several lively conversations. I was curious if Sam thought he had made a fool of himself in any of those conversations, especially since Finn is much younger and hipper.  Turns out he enjoyed talking with Finn and hadn’t thought about what Finn might think of him.  I suggested we get some feedback from Finn – and he, too, had had a great time chatting with Sam.  Finn was grateful that someone older and professionally established would have taken him seriously.  Each was surprised that the other had been afraid of being judged!

In his email to me Sam shared that Finn reminds him of himself when he was in college and terribly unsure of himself.  So, he’s decided to do something for Finn because he wished someone had done something for him.  What is Sam doing for Finn?  To my shock, he’s gifting Finn with an “anonymous scholarship” of five private coaching sessions with me!

Even as I write this, I’m blown away.  Sam’s kindness and generosity are extraordinary.  I’ve never had someone offer to pay for a stranger’s time with me.  And so on International Day Of Happiness I went from feeling jaded to feeling whatever is beyond happy.

My father, who was a depressed man, often would remind me and my brother that, “we’re not meant for happiness in this world.”  He believed that with all his heart and I am loath to admit that too often I allow his words to echo in my own heart.  But, according to the United Nations, "Happiness is neither a frivolity nor a luxury. It is a deep-seated yearning shared by all members of the human family."  Sam’s been on an unexplored path to new happiness and he generously wants Finn to find his way along that path.

Happiness isn’t dependent upon the grand moments and gestures in life – happiness can be as simple as sharing an ice cream cone with a child.  I also know, though, that life would be less magical and mystical without those grand surprises.  Sam turned the first day of Spring into one of the most memorial days of my life.

In its heart, happiness is always rooted in generosity.  And no atrocity can negate that truth.

March 20^th, the International Day Of World Happiness, is a yearly opportunity to recommit to being a generous person.  Brussels, though, reminds us that in a world of danger we can’t make it just a yearly recommitment – we’ve got to do it whenever there’s an opportunity to be happily generous.