During the past weeks, consulting
with clients, I’ve been waylaid by directors, managers and even a CEO,
demanding to know, “Why can’t my team act
like adults?” “I shouldn’t have to repeat myself, she should know, she’s an
adult.” “It’s not that hard to do; he’s
an adult, he should know better.” Each
client has a particular reason for their frustration and while some of those
reasons are legitimate, others I think are unreasonable. I’m struck, though, by the growing chorus of
executives who believe their people are not acting like “adults.”
I’ve been thinking about what it means to be
an “adult” and have even been questioning if I’m an adult! Then, last week, a team member at my local
Apple Store, reminded me of what an “adult” looks and sounds like.
Earlier in the day I’d upgraded my
Sprint-serviced i-phone to the 6s – oh, happy day! Later, as I was trying to download stored
info, I ran into a snag. Frustrated, and
with only an hour before the store closed, I dashed off to the mall. I walked into the Apple Store and spotted a team
member who looked like he was just waiting for me.
He flashed a smile as I pleadingly asked, “Can you help me?” He was facially attentive as I fumbled with
my explanation. In under a minute, he
assured me, “I think I know what the
problem is. Come with me.” We went
over to another team member and Jonathan fired off a few sentences of jargon. To my relief the other guy agreed with
him. I told him I was impressed and he
broke into a pleased smile as we went over to a table station. He plugged my phone into a MacBook, extended
his hand, asked me my name and told me his name is Jonathan. He assured me he’d be back in a few
minutes. To my relief, he did come back,
checked the phone and all was set.
So simple!
Simple because Jonathan was
relaxed, assured, knowledgeable, comfortable in the store environment, patient,
focused – all of which made me feel valued.
And that’s what an adult does –
she or he makes other people feel valued.
In my workshops and classes I
remind participants that people like to do business with people they like. Why?
Because people like people who make them feel valued.
Jonathan reminded me, in my moment
of need, just how important “likability” is as we go about conducting business. And so I think THAT’S what makes someone an
“adult” – they know how to be likable by knowing how to make someone feel
valued.
What does it take to be likable?
Top 10 Ways To Create “Likability”
1.
You telegraph that you see the other person by
having your eyes connect at the same time your face breaks into a smile.
2.
You introduce yourself by name and make a point
to remember the other person’s name.
3.
You engage the other person in a calm, assured
and assuring tone of voice and overall posture.
4.
Your speech is clear, not rushed, and you avoid
waffling words and hedges.
5.
You convey that you’re genuinely curious about
how you might help the other person and so you ask, “what brings you here today?” and avoid a canned customer service script.
6.
No matter how fumbling the person is in
explaining the problem, you patiently search for clarity and so you don’t
interrupt by finishing thoughts and sentences.
7.
You know that you have a responsibility to explain
what you know and so you know you are responsible for guiding the encounter.
8.
You confidently use phrases such as: “I take responsibility,” “Here’s what we can do,” “I’ll handle it,” “I appreciate that. . .” “I understand that you. . .”
9.
And, hey, humor goes a long way to putting
people at ease – when used appropriately.
10.
At the end of encounter, you remember to ask, “what else can I do for you?”
In reading over this list, you may
think, “but what about the jerks that are
bullying in their response?”
Yes, some customers, internal and
external, may be toxic. And there are
techniques for dealing with them. First,
though, master the basics because in
today’s world, the real adult is the master of the basics!
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