Like many of you, I’ve been
thinking about Robin Williams and his death has challenged me to reflect on
depression and suicide.
Executive coach Richard Leider
believes “There are three hungers that people are trying to feed throughout their
lives. The first is to connect deeply with the creative spirit of life. The
second is to know and express your gifts and talents. The third is to know that
our lives matter. Fulfillment comes from feeding these three hungers.”
When I came across this quote two
years ago, my knee jerk reaction was to ask myself how deeply am I connected to
my creative spirit; how satisfied am I with how I express my gifts; and do I
believe that my life matters?
But then I started asking myself harder
questions: “Am I aware of feeling hungry or have my senses been numbed? Do I value my gifts or do I disparage them? Do I allow myself to feel the weight of
people’s care or do I brush off love?”
At the risk of venturing into “TMI”
territory, I’ll admit that for much of my adult life I’ve lived and wrestled
with clinical depression. I’ve been
fortunate to have a support system, professional and personal, that has
bolstered me so that not only can I function, but also I can succeed in so many
facets of life.
When people ask me about depression
it’s frustrating to explain because almost any explanation can easily sound
like self-pitying.
Perhaps the best way to describe my
experience of depression is that it blurs my vision. I’m not able to recognize what’s in front of
me—love, opportunity, gifts, reasons for hope and excitement. It brings about distortions so that when I
say I struggle with depression what I mean is that I struggle with righting a
distorted view of life. Yes, there’s
often been a physical struggle to muster energy, but more than that it’s about
being able to draw a sense of urgency and commitment from the bounty
surrounding me.
Depression essentially makes harder
the struggle to mindfully engage Leider’s Three Hungers.
Occasionally I meet someone who
lives life in a way that daily satisfies these hungers. Yet, I meet so many others who are unable to
name their hunger and understand why it makes them restless. Others know the origins of their hunger but
feel hopeless, lacking the “recipe” that will satiate their hunger. And for others, they simply satisfy their
hungers with “junk food” and so become dull.
Depressed or not, the Three Hungers
challenge us all.
What about you? How hungry are you? How do you satisfy your hunger? How do you help “feed” the hungry in your
life?
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