Quarters, Comics And Teacups – The Power Of Memory

My friend Sue is becoming certified as a life coach.  Last week, her mentor gave her an assignment in which she had to ask ten people to describe a time when she was at her best.  This was a challenging request for those of us who are her friends––there are so many times to choose from!  One memory, though, that especially moved her was offered by her youngest brother.

He shared the memory of a time when he’d lost a tooth and he woke up upset that the “tooth fairy” hadn’t left any quarters.  Sue got some quarters and sprinkled them about his room when he wasn’t looking.  She explained that the tooth fairy must have had a busy night and was running late. Although he was on to her, she made him feel loved and cared for – and that’s when she was always at her best.

Last year I officiated a memorial service for the father of my friend, Ruth.  I’d known her dad, though not as well as many who attended.  I listened intently as they told their stories about him.  For decades he’d been a well-known and respected doctor in Lancaster.  He and his wife, Ruth’s mom, had an open door policy for all the neighborhood kids.

One of those former kids, now a university science professor, shared one of his fondest memories – of how Ruth’s dad had a box full of comic books near one of the bookcases in his den. This science professor said that his love for reading started with that bin of comics.

And then just the other day, I was talking with my niece Mary who told me that she thought of me when she was at the mall.  Seems she was babysitting a neighbor’s five-year-old girl and decided to take her to the mall’s carousel.  She reminded me that when she and her sister Gracie had been that age, I’d take them to that same carousel and put them in the teacups and turn the wheel so hard that we always were the fastest spinning cup – much to the horror of her parents!  She said she gave this girl the same treat.

Three different people.  Three different occasions.  Three different memories.  Hidden quarters; a bin of comics; spinning teacups. Each memory is of such a small and seemingly insignificant experience.  And, yet, each experience had such a holding influence on each person.

Our lives are shaped by ordinary moments that are made extraordinary by people loving and mindful.  That’s the truth and mystery of life.

So, when were you at your best?   

Go ahead and ask some trusted friends or family or even colleagues and let your self be surprised. 

"Should" - Such An Annoying Word!

A client recently asked: “How do I professionally counter when someone starts with ‘you should’?  I'm not quick enough to evaluate the situation and defend myself.  I had an incident where I expressed a desire (totally insignificant) and got a ‘you should.’  In this kind of situation, I tend to cave and say ‘right,’ pretending like I’m not insulted.   I’m holding a resentment against this person because when I review the facts, I was on the right track and was frustrated because I had no control.”

This is a situation we often encounter and you’re not alone in feeling frustrated.  Here’s the thing – more times than not, you do have control.  Seldom do we find ourselves in a conversation where we have “no” control.  Thinking you have no control simply makes you a victim.

Yes, it’s annoying when someone launches into a “you should” monologue.  However, some people have almost an obsession with wanting to help by offering advice.  Some people have an obsessive need to control.  And some people think they’re helping most by controlling! 

Why did you feel insulted?  Was it their tone of voice that made you feel inept?  And if you knew this person often offers unasked for advice, why did you tell them what you desire?

How do you maintain control in a conversation?  Simple, really.  Speak up!

When the person asks, “Do you know what you should do?” Smile and playfully give one of these responses: “No – and I don’t want to know!”  OR “I don’t know what to do but I have a feeling you’re about to tell me!”  OR “Only if you tell me in five sentences!”

Make a joke out of it and cut them off before they have a chance to start preaching.

If the other person is getting carried away giving you advice, you can politely, smilingly say: ”Actually this isn’t something I plan on pursuing, so I’m not really looking for advice.”

Why cling to the resentment?  Why cave-in and fume as the other person speaks?  Why are you afraid of speaking-up?  I suspect you’re not responding to the other person because you’re telling yourself something that is making you mute.  Whatever it is you’re telling yourself, it’s a lie.

Don’t think the worse of the other person for telling you what to do.  Chances are, they’re not even aware of this annoying habit because no one has told them about it! 

So, you know what you should do 
when people tell you what you should do?!

·      Stop feeling powerless.

·      Identify the lie you’re telling yourself which is shutting you down.

·      Start smiling.

·      Take control of your half of the conversation.

You do have power!

The Hardest Thing On Earth For You

“Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself.”   

Katherine Mansfield

Recently, at a networking event, Courtney shared with me the harrowing story of her wedding.  The nightmare began with her dream to walk down the aisle in a Size 2 dress.  She went on a diet, exercised religiously and she lost – nothing.

She then hit on a seemingly brilliant idea.  Her migraine medication had weight loss as a potential “side effect”.  So she duped her doctor into prescribing a higher dosage and soon the weight fell off.  However, in addition to losing weight, she also started to lose her mind, having panic attacks and hallucinations.  Still, though, she clung to her goal.

On her wedding day, she looked fab in her Size 2 dress but felt like s*it.  Things worsened on her honeymoon, which she had to cut short.  Less than a month after saying “I Do,” she and her confused husband were thinking of saying, “I Can’t.”

Eventually, Courtney discovered that the medication was the culprit.  24-hours after her last pill she returned to her senses only to ask – why?  Why had she gone to extremes to become someone she wasn’t?  Someone her husband hadn’t asked her to become?

Days after meeting Courtney, I met Darcy at a holiday party.  Darcy works for a hedge fund and confided that she was anxiously awaiting her bonus because only then would she know how she felt about herself.  Huh? 

She explained that she can’t see herself doing anything other than what she’s doing and if she can’t succeed at this then what’s the use?   A hefty bonus will let her feel like a success and if the bonus doesn’t meet her expectations then she’ll beat herself up wondering what she did wrong.

So here you have two people, each of whom is well educated, street smart and capable at demanding jobs.  And each, with ease, was able to hand over her self-esteem to arbitrary forces.

Courtney blithely allowed the fickle arbiters of wedding fashion to dictate how she should look and how she should feel about looking that way, while Darcy entrusted her self-worth to the whim of a boss who at best was nasty and at worst sociopathic (her admission).

Why would “smart” people do such a thing?  Why not?  So many of us, consciously and unconsciously, decide that we’ll let other people decide what labels to assign us.

As we gain momentum into 2014, have you yet given thought to what kind of person you want to be this year?  Who do you want to be as you set about your work and strategize goals?  Will you choose or will you let others choose for you?

Ask and You Shall Receive!

When my brother and I were growing-up, our mother didn’t allow us to go trick-or-treating as she thought it was a form of begging!  My mother was a proud, self-reliant woman who didn’t like asking people for anything and she instilled that credo into me.  To this day, it’s hard for me to ask even friends for a favor.

Around this time last year, my friend Sue and I went to dinner at her favorite restaurant in Balboa.  The valet, a teenager, opened Sue’s door.  She thanked him and asked, “How are you?”  He blurted out, “hungry!”  She laughed, reached into the car and found a candy bar in the glove compartment.

The valet’s eyes twinkled.  “Best tip of the day,” he shouted.

I was charmed by Sue’s kindness – and amazed that the valet told her he was hungry!  How often are you asked, “how ya doin’?” and you just toss off, “fine” and keep moving?

Since that dinner I’ve been experimenting with “asking.”  For instance, recently at a networking social I was talking with an event planner.  At one point, two women walked by and the planner’s eyes lit up.  I thought it was because he found them attractive (which he did) but he was excited because he was convinced they had appeared on the TV show “Shark Tank.” 

I nudged him to go over and ask them.  He said he couldn’t.  Clinging to my new found motto of “Ask!” I went over.  They hadn’t been on “Shark Tank” but were tickled for being mistaken.  We chatted, exchanged cards and I went back to the hapless planner with a new ice-breaker question for social events!

Throughout the year I’ve been practicing “asking” – for introductions to new clients, for higher fees from clients, for opportunities to speak at organizations.  I’ve experimented with asking good people for simple favors.  And each time I’ve psychologically closed my eyes, held my breath and waited for – the worse to happen.  And it never has!

At least 90% of the time people were happy to help me.  They were happy to know of my services and of how I could help them.  And that’s part of the “secret” to healthy relationships. 

Mutual helping.

When I think on Sue’s encounter with the valet, I realize she asked a throw-away question in a way that the valet felt comfortable answering her.  Or maybe it’s that he was a teen and so was far less inhibited than the rest of us grown-ups?

No matter what, he told her and she answered his need.  And that’s really the simple reality––unless we tell people what we need, we don’t have much of a chance of getting our needs met.

Ask!  Tell!

10 Ways To Becoming More Sane In 2014!

I’ve collected some of my favorite writings from 2013 – and I think if you pick just one article and practice what I suggest for at least a month, you’ll begin to see that life is getting saner for you!

I know – that’s a BIG claim.  BUT. . .drop me an note at jp@jpr-communications.com and I’ll send you a copy of “Ten Ways To Becoming More Sane in 2014.”  Take the challenge - see the difference.

Enjoy!

~JP

Are You A Manager? Then Read This Article!

If you’re a manager looking to set goals and make resolutions for 2014, then I urge you to read this article written by Adam Bryant of The New York Times.  This is a piece that I’ll be coming back to in upcoming workshops and seminars.

Enjoy!

Management Be Nimble

By ADAM BRYANT  / NYT  /  1/4/14

“We aspire to be the largest small company in our space.”

When Dominic Orr, the chief executive of Aruba Networks, said those words, he crystallized a goal I had heard many leaders express during the hundreds of interviews I’ve conducted for the Corner Office column: they want to foster a quick and nimble culture, with the enviable qualities of many start-ups, even as their companies grow.

All leaders and managers face this challenge, regardless of the size of their companies. Even the founders of Google have worried about losing the magic that helped propel their search engine’s phenomenal growth. When Larry Page announced that he was taking over the chief-executive role from Eric Schmidt a few years ago, he explained to reporters that the company needed to move faster and recapture the agility of its early days, before it grew into a colossus.

“One of the primary goals I have,” Mr. Page said at the time, “is to get Google to be a big company that has the nimbleness and soul and passion and speed of a start-up.”

Discussions of corporate culture can easily fall into platitudes and generalities, so I set out to answer a more specific question: What are the main drivers of corporate culture — the things that, if done well, have an outsize positive impact, and if done poorly or not at all, have an outsize negative impact?

continuing reading. . .

5 Questions To Kick Off 2014

My godson Finn’s new fav word is “startled” and I have to admit that I’m feeling startled that 2013 has reached its end!

Newscasters, bloggers and anyone with an opinion all are offering their various “Top 10” lists, while motivational gurus are prepping us on how to plan for 2014.  And, yes, I’m feeling the pressure to join in.

I spent weeks toying with my own “Top 10 Ways To Make 2014 The Best Year Ever!” but eventually I realized I had my focus out of whack.  I couldn’t suggest ways to plan for 2014 until I’d made sense of my own 2013.

Before you plan for the future, you have to make sense of the past.  There’s no point in making New Year’s resolutions until you acknowledge the good of the previous year.

Albert Einstein believed that “there are only two ways to live life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is.”  To help me reflect on the “miracles” (yes, that is a loaded word) in my 2013 life, I asked myself five questions:

1.     What did I learn in 2013? 

2.     Who inspired me? 

3.     What gave me pleasure? 

4.     What or who surprised me? 

5.     What am I grateful for?

I stared at these questions for a long, long time.  I think I felt stumped because during the year I hadn’t stopped enough times to take stock of where I was or where I was going.  It was all rushrushrush. 

Eventually, I was able to answer wholeheartedly each of those five questions.  In the coming weeks I’ll explain my answers.  For now, though, here’s the outline of my answers and I hope it coaxes you into finding your own answers. 

In 2013 I learned to ask for what I want.  I was inspired by a groom who was willing to hit rock bottom before allowing himself to find true love.  I realized with a newfound sense that I enjoy giving keynote talks, not because I like to hear myself speak, but rather, because of the great conversations that take place afterwards with interesting people.  I was surprised by how I made a new friend who has opened unusual doors for me.  And lastly, I’m most especially grateful to a client whose generosity taught me how to respect myself more than I’ve been doing.

Taken together those five “miracles” reminded me that nothing is more important than the day at hand.  If I can remember the insights gained, I think I’ll be able to live 2014 more mindfully and more generously.

What about you – what are your answers to those five questions?  May your answers give you a happy and fulfilling 2014!

The Feast Of Surprise

A down-and-out character in Tennessee Williams’ play “Small Craft Warnings” asks this question: “What is the one thing you must not lose sight of in this world before leaving it?  Surprise.  The capacity for surprise.”

Christmas is one of the great stories of “surprise.”  A virgin birth, an angelic choir to greet a long-anticipated savior in the stinkiest of settings, are the surprise highlights in a story that ripples with the unexpected.

No matter one’s beliefs, I think it does us good to reflect on our own individual capacity for being surprised – by life and perhaps, most especially, by our own self.  Can you still surprise yourself?

The mad rush to year’s end, beginning at Thanksgiving, accelerates the freneticism of our daily routines.  We want some holiday cheer, some Christmas “spirit,” whatever that spirit actually means and feels and looks like.  But because we’ve been planning, organizing, shopping and juggling we just end up losing sight of the “why” of it all.

For some that “why” has a religious answer and for others it has some other, ill-defined answer.  But no matter – we’re still left with the reality that “surprise” is embedded within the DNA of this holiday.  Even the most famous secular Christmas story, “A Christmas Carol,” is the tale of a nasty old man who is given the surprise of his life – past, present and future!

The great gift of this celebration is the gift of being open to surprise.  And why is this gift so extraordinarily crucial?  Because life without surprise is not life.  It’s just monotonous, deadening, robotic routine.

To keep Christmas in one’s heart all year round is to promise to be a bearer of surprise in all things great and small.  It’s mindfully being willing to do the unexpected, the unanticipated and the unlooked for.  To surprise people with small courtesies as simple as opening a door or sending a thank-you.  To surprise the seemingly idiotic with patience.  To surprise the beggar with a dollar.  To surprise a friend with a lunch date.

And it means being willing to surprise your own self – to be kind to your own self – to not punish yourself with food that makes you sluggish, with delayed projects that derail your credibility or with dreams deferred that cause you to walk away from yourself.

To surprise your self by doing what you’ve put off doing because of fear.

This is a time for surprise and light and birth in ways unfamiliar and unnerving.  This is a time to once again resolve to live with courage.

Life, in all its messy glory, is what animates the deepest yearnings of December 25^th in both its religious and secular manifestations.

Merry Surprise!

How Shag Carpeting Made Me The Man I Am

The Russian novelist Tolstoy believed that the greatest gift we could give a person is a happy memory from childhood. 

I’m fortunate to have numerous happy memories from childhood and the ones I most cherish are linked with my grandmother, “Nanny Prize”.  From this vantage point in time I now realize what an unusual woman she was – which is a nice way to say she was something of an oddball!

For thirty-five years she was a prison guard on Riker’s Island, the largest prison in NYC.  She retired her billy club at the age of seventy-two.  To look at her, you’d have thought she sold cosmetics at Macy’s.  She had been widowed in her early thirties and raised my father by herself.  She had no friends.  Her job was her life, but my brother, Peter, and I gave her life.

Throughout grammar school, Peter and I spent almost every weekend at her Bronx apartment – a place we dubbed “Freedom Land”.   Unlike our mother, Prize let us have the run of her place, letting us do as we pleased.  And so Peter and I turned each room into a magical setting.  Before there was Hogwarts, there was my grandmother’s apartment!

The great gift Prize gave us – above all else – was the gift of setting our imaginations wild and grounding it all in ritual.  In her home, there were no rules, no “shoulds,” just a sense of play – creative, imaginative and anchoring.

How did she do this?  Well, she had the entire apartment wall-to-wall carpeted in green shag so as to give the appearance of grass.  She wanted us to imagine that we were on a farm or in the woods.

She saved the boxes her end tables came in and we propped them in the living room, creating a tree house.  In an adjoining room, that probably should have been the dining room, she had a day-bed that was used as our pirate ship and a legless ironing board was the gangplank that poor Peter had to walk.

Every weekend, without fail, we ate pizza on Friday, steak on Saturday and fried chicken on Sunday.  We played checkers and Pokeno and watched the same TV shows weekend after weekend.

We loved our days at “Freedom Land”.  With Prize as Oz, we created a safe world that nourished our imaginations and gave us order and meaning.  That was ritual – not routine.

I now realize that the gift of those happy memories influenced everything I’ve done as a teacher and coach, uncle and godfather.

Here’s the thing: holidays can either sap our energy or renew us.  It really all depends on our rituals.  What do you do each year that creates happy memories? 

Old Habits Really Do Die Hard

In prepping for December musings, I reread last Thanksgiving’s posting and was shocked because this year I did exactly what I encouraged you NOT to do last year!  Here’s an excerpt from that column:

“what should you do with the relatives that drive you batty?  Change.  Change the way you deal with them because, if you don’t change, and they’re not going to change, then nothing is going to change and the 2012 holidays will again end up being from hell!

Here’s what to do.  First think about who’s on your ‘naughty’ list.  How do they press your buttons?  Why do they have the ability to press those buttons?  Once you’re aware of what they’re doing, then you can decide if you’re going to allow them to upset you.” 

Although I stick by what I wrote, it’s harder to do than my cheery tone might imply!  This year I went to John and Mary’s for dessert (names changed).  John’s parents were at the table when I arrived.  I’ve known them for many years and while they’re more socially and theologically conservative than I am, we’ve had a mutual affection. 

As soon as I sat down, John’s mom made a statement that centered on the two things you shouldn’t bring up at a holiday meal – religion and politics.  What she said was factually incorrect and I instantaneously became irritated.  My answer was snappish, though I pulled back (I think) in time before turning into a rude guest.  John’s mom had a sarcastic comeback and I upped it!  We both knew what had happened and we backed off.

I’m embarrassed that I snapped.  I teach, write and speak about dealing with difficult people and in the heat of that moment, none of it meant anything.  I’m humbly reminded that, truly, old habits die hard.

Why did I care what this woman blathered on about?   Well, she was wrong and I was “right” and here’s what went through my brain at lightning speed: “I think you’re being stupid and therefore I’m going to fix you – at the dinner table – and I better do it quickly because I only see you once a year.”  With that kind of thinking, who’s the “stupid” one?!

Truth be told, what I’m really annoyed about is that I’m not perfect and I wasn’t the person I wanted to be.  I don’t want to be the smug guy who’s snappish with little old ladies who love Limbaugh! 

Here’s the thing - if you know you’re going to be spending time over the holidays with people who can push your buttons, be mindful of who you want to be and how you want to behave.

We always have a choice.

Right This Moment. . .

I recently came across this reflection snippet from Danielle LaPorte.  I don’t know the context from which this comes, but it has grabbed my imagination and challenged me to ask myself, “what am I doing in this moment and will it eventually benefit someone?”

Read this and see if you’re similarly challenged. . .

right now:

·      Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

·      Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

·      Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

·      Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. They just can’t see it from where they’re at.

·      Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche—this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

·      Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable.

·      Someone is curing the incurable.

Thank You ISES LA!

photo: verophoto.com

This past Monday I had the delight of talking at ISES LA’s first “Meet The Master’s” Speaker Series. 

The good and talented folks at TheMark For Events offered us a savory lunch in a relaxing ambiance.  Special thanks to Stephanie Reynolds (no relation – unfortunately!) who invited me to speak and to Veronica Puelo of Verofoto for some candid snaps that captured the overall laid-back spirit of collegiality that animated the event!

If you’d like a copy of my PDF: “Dealing With Challenging Clients,” which I gave to those attending, please shoot me an email:  jp@jpr-communications.com

Thanks!

~JP

Beyond Great Advice For Thanksgiving!

Before you celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow, you MUST read this NYTimes piece -

In the End, It’s NotAbout the Food

By COREY MINTZ   NYTimes /  November 26, 2013

TORONTO — In Canada, where I’m from, Thanksgiving is over already. We celebrated on your Columbus Day, and if it offers any solace as you grow increasingly (or maybe just a little bit) anxious in these final hours, ours turned out fine.

Enlarge This Image

Katherine Streeter

We ate pretty much the same things you will cook tomorrow. I’m sure your menu and your meal will be swell. But I am here to argue that it matters less than you imagine.

Over the last few years, I’ve held 201 dinner parties for a newspaper column up here (mine, actually) called Fed. I’ve learned that the food is less important than the company and a little bit of graciousness. Call it hospitality, or entertaining.

A generation of food television, with its ticking clocks and well-lit close-ups, has brainwashed us into believing dinner is a competition. Our manners have atrophied. We are now willing to put so much thought and effort into what we eat — making cronuts at home, name-checking the latest hot restaurants, leading a torch-and-pitchfork mob against gluten — that we’ve lost our understanding of how to eat with people.

We have been reduced to a society of boors by stripping dinner of joy in our attempts to reproduce complicated chef food in our homes.

If I were to offer Thanksgiving advice, it wouldn’t be about what kind of bird to buy or which dessert to bake. It would be to remember that you are hosting a version of a dinner party, and that the same etiquette — taking your guests’ coats and getting them a drink, making them feel comfortable, feeding them in a timely manner, serving food with confidence and ending the evening on a high note — is just as appreciated by your family as by anyone else you would bring to your table. Maybe more.

The focus should be on making your guests feel good.

Continue reading. . .

A Tale Of Three "Thank-Yous"

A belated “thank-you.”  Vanessa, a student in one of my UCLA Extension courses, hadn’t made a favorable impression.  She had missed three out of ten classes and never apologized or explained why she had missed class. Ironically, this was a course on interpersonal communication.

However, a week after the course ended, she emailed me to say that she had enjoyed and benefited from the class.  Of sixteen participants, she was the only one who had written a note of thanks! 

A “missed thank-you.”  Alex had another UCLA course with me.  He was from Germany and there had been a snag with registration so I let him join class in the third week.  I made allowances for his catching-up on assignments and I often talked with him after class, answering his questions.  (When I had lived overseas I was grateful for the kindnesses that had been offered me).

At the end of last class, as he was readying to walk out, Alex simply waved “bye” from the door.  I quickly walked over and wished him well as I shook his hand.  He seemed surprised.  Yet, how much time had I spent talking about what goes into relationship building and networking?  I was disappointed that he seemed to have forgotten it all.

A “surprise thank you.”  Last month, I visited my friend Clarice up in Oakland.  She took me to her fav shoe store where I readily spotted a pair I liked.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have my size.  Maxwell, the clerk, told me that he was holding a pair in my size for a customer who said he’d be back before closing.  He assured me that if the guy didn’t show, he’d call me.  As a born New Yorker, I was too skeptical to believe him; but, he did call and the shoes were mine.

When I stopped by to pick them up, Maxwell had them packed and ready.  Later, when I opened the shoe box, I found this handwritten note:

J.P. Thanks for shopping with us today.  I’m glad you were able to get these special shoes and I appreciate your patience.  Come say ‘hi’ next time you’re in town!  Thanks, Maxwell

With that kind of service, of course I will!

So, here’s the thing – Thanksgiving is a time for feasting with friends and family and in their company giving thanks for the gifts of this past year.  Thanksgiving, though, shouldn’t be a one-day “thing” – it should be the culmination of a year chock-full of giving thanks moments.  Ordinary opportunities to say “thanks” daily swirl about us.

Let us paraphrase Scrooge and join him saying,  "I will honor Thanksgiving in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.”    

Cheers!

The Worth Of This Day

Last week I picked up a friend and we headed off to a party in Hollywood.  We drove north on Ventura Blvd, towards Laurel Canyon, which we were going to use to get over to the other side of town.  As you may know, the Ventura / Laurel Canyon intersection is always jammed and if you miss the light, you’re stuck.  As we approached Carpenter St, my friend told me to turn onto it.  I was confused – we needed Laurel.  She yelled, “turn!” and so I did.

I’m embarrassed to admit that although I’ve lived in this area for almost twenty years, I’d never turned down Carpenter.  I was surprised to find that it’s a short cut onto Laurel.  Yes, I can be a dope when it comes to directions!

After all these years, why hadn’t I driven down Carpenter before now?  Habit.  Just habit, laziness and a woeful lack of curiosity.

The novelist, James Still, once gave an aspiring writer this advice: “discover something new every day.”  I think that’s inspiring advice no matter what you’re aspiring to be!  However, to discover something new, you have to be curious.  You have to have eyes that see.  You have to live not out of habit.

My niece Mary graduated from the University of Colorado, Boulder last May.  My brother, his wife, my other niece Gracie and I stayed at the Boulderado – the oldest hotel in Boulder.  The lobby is chock-full of vintage “stuff” including a hundred year old guest register that is open each day to the corresponding date.  The lobby is a veritable museum.

I was pointing out antique curiosities to my sister-in-law and each time she registered surprise, saying, “I didn’t notice that before.”  Finally, exasperated, she acknowledged that although she had stayed at the hotel whenever she’d visit Mary during the last four years, she’d never noticed any of this stuff.  She marveled that I spotted it all so quickly.

Beth works in finance.  She’s purpose driven and that’s spilled over to life outside work.  For Beth, a lobby is simply a place you go to check-in.  That’s all that matters.

The great architect Mies Van Der Rohe was quoted as saying that “God is in the details.”  Even if you’re an atheist, the truth is that details are what make life interesting.

The German writer Goethe was guided by the belief that, “Nothing is worth more than this day.”  I’ve always liked that sentiment.  But without “curious seeing” a day is just a habit.  And so my newly embraced resolve is to discover something new each day – to drive a different route; read a blog I haven’t visited; ask “why?” more often.

Care to join me?